Robbing Peter to Pay Paul

ImageHave you ever heard the expression “robbing Peter to pay Paul”?  Some days I feel this is how I spend every minute.  The reality is that trying to be present both for my new family and the congregation can be an impossible task.  No kidding, right?  How could anyone be simultaneously present?  In my logical mind, I understand this reality and believe there’s enough grace to help balance this continual juggle.

Except that apparently there’s still another part of me.  A part of me that seems to forget that I am, in fact, a human.  Somehow I sipped a little too much of the Wonder Woman Water growing up.  Somehow I still seem to think that I should be miraculously able to navigate pastoring and parenting seamlessly.  Yes.  I can be that delusional.

In addition to the obvious problems and implications of believing I somehow have a super-hero-like capacity, there’s a subtler issue.  If I miraculously and perfectly navigated these worlds so that all needs were always met, neither the children nor the church would do the hard work of learning to name and meet some of their own needs.   And the risk of reaching out to widen the circle of support.  To discern what it is they really need.  What they need to ask for and what they will take care of themselves.  The flip-side of this is that I am responsible for the same.

Yesterday was a day where I robbed Peter to pay Paul.  A day where I said yes when I meant no.  And some of my yeses didn’t align with what I say are my priorities.  Such is the way of Sundays and step-daughters.

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One thought on “Robbing Peter to Pay Paul

  1. I so understand. Sometimes I feel like a piece of taffy….being pulled into every direction. Yesterday I went to the altar before church. I knelt down and told God that I didn’t want to preach today. What I wanted to do was listen. I need to hear and feel the Word. I apologized for feeling this way but I could not deny it.
    Needless to say that God heard my cries. I preached one of the best messages that I heard and felt. It was like I was watching someone else preach even though it really was me. I used real objects to get my point across and everyone really heard the Word too. Just like in Ephesians my heart was singing to God…..not my voice…..not my mouth……my heart. Why because I placed God in the center of my world…..my prayer……my message and worship.
    So yesterday dear friend….I didn’t not feel like taffy or wonder woman. I was just me worshiping…listening and singing praises to God. And being a mom was so less stressful because I was at peace.

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